New Year’s resolutions annoy me.
For that matter, so does so much of the marking of the New Year. It’s like that whole birthday thing. One of the stupidest things we ask each other (and, I admit, I’ve asked it myself) is “so, do you feel a year older?” You shouldn’t. The same time 24 hours earlier, you weren’t a year younger; you were 24 hours younger. You were–in annual terms–pretty much the same age even a month before your birthday as you are on your birthday and will be a month after your birthday. It’s just silly.
Don’t get me wrong: I think it’s great that we celebrate people, and their birthdays are as good a time as any. I don’t so much know about celebrating the progression of time. I find “time” a troublesome abstraction, to be perfectly honest. Yes, abstraction. But that’s another digression for another day. And don’t even get me started on entropy. Oy.
But, no, what really bugs me is the artificiality. New Year’s resolutions are at once compulsory and melodramatic. Let’s be honest, most New Year’s resolutions will fail. Most of us enter into them knowing (somewhere deep inside if nowhere else) that they won’t last, but we do it anyway, because we feel that that’s what’s expected. They are a lot like marriages.
If you’re going to do something, do it. If not, I think you and we are better off with your not making such a big deal out of your tepid commitment. As so many half-assed marriages are merely the prelude to divorce, so many “commitments” made for the New Year are more dissolution than resolution. If we were truly resolute, I’m pretty sure we wouldn’t need the histrionics. But, in any case, what we need less–and not more–of is the pretense of commitment and the pretense of change. We’ve got plenty, thanks.
Janus is a two-faced bastard and we rightly honor him with our lies. But let’s not.
Change. (That’s an imperative and, therefore, a complete sentence, and not a fragment; not that I don’t do fragments). Go ahead. And grace to you as you do.
Exercise, eat better, balance your checkbook, love your family, upend the world, make sense of your life, whatever. Do it. Ask for help even. Announce it. But mean it. And count the costs.
And, no, I’m not advising that we not take chances. What I’m suggesting is that we really take them, instead of just going through the formality.
And I’m not damning us for our failure. We will fail. We can be forgiven. We must get up and try again. But we shouldn’t just play at it. For that matter, some folks play with more commitment and passion than most of us live. Let’s not let them have all of the fun, eh?
I resolved a long time ago to stop making New Year’s resolutions, and I’m proud to say that I’ve kept that resolution. But I don’t mean to be a legalist; if New Year’s works for you then more power to you. Maybe it’s just me. Maybe I’m the only one who perceives this time as fundamentally duplicitous. I do. But though it be dark and foggy it is not unredeemed. I am, amidst the shadowy mists, preparing, perhaps, for purification in February, battles in March, etc.
I’m pretty sure that God isn’t bound by the Julian or Gregorian or, for that matter, Maya calendar. We tend to be, but we can be free. Will the world end in 2012? Hell if I know. But I do know that we could usher in the end of the world as we know it today if we chose to.
Oh, and–coincidentally or not–I would like to exercise some more, so I’d like it if all of you January posers would get out of my gym. You know you don’t mean it anyway. You know who you are.
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Mon - 2009/01/05 at 00:25
Rebekah
Bravo! Well said. This year, we had the television on when they dropped the ball in NYC (9 pm Pacific time), and I glanced up from the kitchen sink and was so taken in by the utter silliness of it all & wondered if anyone else noticed.
Wed - 2009/01/14 at 02:49
christiankane
Quite possibly the oddest of human oddities is that we have dedicated an entire holiday to staying up late and getting plastered so that we can wake up at noon with a pounding headache and vow to be more disciplined in the future. Tradition (and Kwanza) aside, perhaps the only more useless holiday would be that of Mardi Gras. What Mardi Gras boils down to is that we want to get as much moral dereliction in as is humanly possible before we all have to be holy for a month… Lent is odd enough without the help, IMO.
[CK]
Thu - 2009/01/15 at 08:01
Joel
I think you’ve both articulated significant aspects that underly my frustration–especially, Christian, the bit about overindulgence leading into the vow of discipline. Now that you mention the prelude (of which I really wasn’t thinking), it’s clear that what we’ve got is a discipline sandwich–one paper thin layer lost between two thick slabs of overindulgence.
As is often the case, my distaste is an expression of the realization of my own inherent weaknesses. I’m more than a mess on my own; I certainly don’t need that bestial nature glorified and encouraged with a special holiday. And not that I’m opposed to imbibing a bit every now and then, but, again, the meaningless excess (meaningful excess I can respect), the artificiality and spectacle I can live without.
Tue - 2009/01/27 at 16:25
Jennifer
The first two weeks after the new year are always the worst for the gym. That’s when I tend to stay away. The New-Years-Resolutioners are all decked out in their new gear, taking up MY treadmill and using MY weights and then criticizing me about how I’m doing things. (I want to yell – “And where have you been the other 11 months that I work out?!”)
About three weeks into January, though, it thins out. The Fairweather Franks and Crash-Diet Carries have all gone back to sit on their couches with their Diet Cokes and Cheese-Its. Good riddance to bad company.
Tue - 2009/01/27 at 17:26
joelmw
I should confess that I have (and had) quite fallen off the wagon and I’m not really such a devotee. But the throngs, well, they remind me of how so many of us do religion–en masse, mindless, regularly (i.e., yearly or semiannually), with a feigned (if, to be fair, quite thoroughly self-deceived) enthusiasm. At this particular phase of my life, I just can’t stomach sorting my way through them. I recognize it as a weakness–my weakness. In truth, I’m probably using them as an excuse. But I’d much rather put my money against the flow of their “wisdom” than with it.
I will exercise my weak, flabby ass, but I’m just not inclined to do it amidst the crowds of the self-assured know-it-alls and self-deluded trenders who are sure that this year’s resolution will be different and that they, who are therefore superior to me, own the gym that they won’t see for, as you say, the next 11 months.
But God bless them, because what I really like most is when the gym is not crowded, whatever the reason.
I do hope I don’t come off as a misanthrope. Or, however I might sound, I hope I am not one. I love people. We’re just idiots. And we are so unattractive in our mobs.
Tue - 2009/02/03 at 18:39
Ryon
I am enjoying your special use of bold letters. It seems a new thing here. I wonder if it might be part of some bizarre New Year’s pact Joel has made with himself to use the “CTRL” button more often. I wouldn’t be surprised. . .
So rebellious and opposed to things proper am I that my resolution this year was to actually drink more. I would never tell my mother, but there you have it. For Lent I’m taking up cocaine. And when 2009’s Advent rolls around, look out. I’ll probably be on CNN.
All that is to say (prelude. You’re welcome Joel.) that I think the potential of New Year’s resolutions is untapped, muddled society wide with silly meaningless vows of celibacy or moderation. I think we need to take it in the opposite direction. Push the envelope. Don’t vow to quit something. Vow to start something. Vow to burn down a Starbucks or befriend a hooker. You never know what might happen, and I think the world would be a better place.
Wed - 2009/02/04 at 14:00
joelmw
Whoa. I just realized that I’m both joelmw and Joel in this one conversation. That kinda blows my mind.
Anyways, I just wanted to say that you, Ryon, might have managed to redeem New Year’s resolutions with your utter perversion of them. Way to mess with my head.